Secondary school listening to Britney. Present: most my friends in that group come out as gay
People grabbing at my body, especially my breasts, I was not supposed to have breasts.
Being told by a customer when i worked in PC World that i could not serve them because i was wearing nail polish.
In school I was always singing to escape my hatred of being in school, one day a classmate called me out on why I sing the female parts of the song as if I'm singing to a man. I didn't change the pronouns to fit the people I was supposed to like
Am i a fetish?
jamesfredrickson26@gmail.com
Lizzo, rubs her belly, repeats i love my body
out of context panic like a brick wall masturbating to a profile picture copying Gabrielle’s walk pushing myself towards it when I didn’t want it pretending to be in a car and driving over people THE white boots being asked if I wanted to be a girl walking in London on a photography trip when i was like 16, seeing this beautiful tall women, slim with blonde flowing hair, high heels and a long flowing black coat, red lips being spat on secondary school listening to Britney stopping myself listening to kylie sitting in the car crying with my mum let the lady go first if you step on pavement cracks you are gay watching kylie on tv in the year 2000 aged 7 not being sexually attracted to her but being drawn to her erections on the bus when it vibrated smiling at myself in the mirror ilovelindseylohan4eva wilhelmina Slater played by vanessa Williams in ugly Betty, glamour and how the other half lived masturbating to straight porn i was not supposed to have breasts a cross dresser never taking off my green robin hood tightsjeremy Clarkson’s bulge wanting to be Paris Hilton i didn't change the pronouns to fit the people I was supposed to like neither feel male nor female being told by a customer when I worked in PC world that i could not serve them because i was wearing nail polish present: most my friends in that group come out as gay i am Edna Mode, dahling the stars in your eyes (probably the best show on the planet)in drama class roll playing as Pink in the music video for stupid girls watching the athletics for the *aubergine emoji* people grabbing at my body, especially my breasts in school I was always singing to escape my hatred of being in school car keys crying when my feet grew too big to fit not being able to put into words how i felt in my body saying no, not being listened to dark and raining cruela de vil intense guilt finding him sexually attractive being called out on why I sing the female parts of the song as if I'm singing to a man looking at the way my uncle and grandad admired her body in the music video for ‘I’m spinning around’ with kylie in those gold hot pants lying about wearing my sisters beauty and the beast dress i wanted to be her pre-puberty, walking down the school corridor feeling confident and comfortable in the anonymity of my gender t shirt over my head like long hair Stealing clip on earrings from Auntie Esme
WIP
OR
WAP